You know the saying...

That when your coworker loses their job, it's a recession, but when you lose your job, it's a depression?

Well, it's a depression in our house now. I was "released" on Tuesday.

I think I'm still in a little bit of shock, so please forgive me if this post is a little "all over the place"!

I am, however, determined to be positive. For starters, I wasn't that fond of my job- I wasn't being given tasks that utilized the skills I worked so hard to foster. Secondly, I didn't like the company I worked for, because of the management style- I felt management was uncommunicative, hypocritical, purposely ignorant of the concept of work-life balance, and disrespectful of the employees. I was also frustrated by working in a place where old technologies and the status quo were venerated, and new methods were regarded with intense suspicion and distrust. And, finally, I disliked working in a place where the energy was so overwhelmingly negative, it was toxic. Ever day was a struggle just to NOT get sucked into the vortex of that energy.

Long story short, I had been very unhappy there for a very long time. So, I am taking this news as a sign from The Universe that there is something better out there for me- something that I will like more, that will make me feel happier and more fulfilled, at a company that I will enjoy working for- and now I have the ability to jump on that opportunity as soon as it presents itself. My old job required 30 days notice (!!!), so any new opportunity would have either had to wait a month, or it would have meant a complex system of using vacation time and calling in sick to cover the 30 days while I started something new- neither were good options.

I'm also seeing this as a gift- the last year-and-a-bit has been difficult for me- I've had to fight to stay positive in a place where the energy was OVERWHELMINGLY negative. I haven't always been successful, and on numerous occasions have ended up bringing the negativity home with me, to the detriment of my relationship with Mr. Homeowner. Now I have the time to repair the damage that has been done to my spirit, and I can rest and recharge and recenter....and I'll be able to give my best to Mr. Homeowner and our relationship.

Additionally, I had a meltdown on the weekend about the approaching wedding, and how little was done, and how little time I felt I had to get things done....well, now I have lots of time. I am feeling quite optimistic at the moment, actually....I may actually be able to knock a bunch of projects off my "To Do" List.

I have been down this unemployment road before. Twice before, in fact. Both times were periods of intense darkness in my life- I felt useless, like a failure, and like a burden. I am determined that this time will be different. I am going to use this time to it's fullest advantage, and I am going to ENJOY it- I am going to be able to get wedding stuff done. I am going to be able to work on organizing the house (hey, it's only been A YEAR of living in chaos!). I am going to be able to practice Yoga every day, and go for runs along the river with Pup every day (well...until I get new running shoes, it will be WALKS along the river!). I am going to be able to get together for coffee with friends who are also not working at the moment (Hi Anne and Blanche!), and take Pup up to see Mr. Homeowner's parents in the afternoons, and get errands done during the week so that the weekends are more relaxing than they have been. I am going to be able to catch up on my sleep, and to start reading books for pleasure again.

In short, I am being given the opportunity to recharge my spirit after what has been an intensely taxing year, to clear out my mind, to catch up on things I have been neglecting. And for that, I am grateful.