*Sigh*

Okay, it's 10:13, and morning comes early (very, very early) for me, and I really should be in bed.

Instead, I'm sitting with the laptop, catching up on Facebook and Twitter and blog reading that I was unable to do earlier this evening, basking in the sensation that I NO LONGER FEEL I AM DYING.

Okay, perhaps that is a little dramatic.  But when you spend hours twitching and crazily flapping your hands and  writhing in discomfort that you know stems from nothing except your miswired brain sending you screaming panic signals.  Repeatedly.  Incessantly.  Until you start to really believe it.  Until you think "Holy crap, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE."

This is not a new struggle to me.  It's discouraging- I have come so far and made so much progress, but I am never quite out of the monster's grasp.