The Happy Homeowners

January in Review.

2012-01-31T20:44:00.000-07:00

Ah, January. I firmly believe it is the hardest month of the year.

First of all, you have the holiday hangover (figuratively speaking....and depending on how your New Year's Eve was, perhaps literally as well)- coming back down from the whirl of parties and get togethers, all the food, all the shopping and decorating and running around.

Then there's the fact that it's (usually) cold and (definitely) dark- although I can't really complain about our weather, seeing as how it was 5 degrees ABOVE ZERO today and almost all the snow is melted.

The month is long- 31 days. And the only holiday day is, by a cruel twist of fate (or scheduling), the first day of the month....leaving a long, 6 week slog to Family Day in February.

And finally, it's the time of year when we all set lofty goals for ourselves- Lose 10 pounds! Go to the gym EVERY DAY!!! Get organized!! Vaccinate orphans in Peru!!!- and fully expect that we will not just meet those goals, but exceed them.

So, January is a hard month- lots to deal with, lots of pressure.

This year, I didn't make any resolutions....until the Lunar New Year, when I resolved to drink more water because I spent several days feeling like I was going to die due to being dehydrated (and so far that hasn't happened....but I have 11 months left!! I can turn it around, I swear!!! DON'T LEAVE ME, I CAN CHANGE!!!!!)

Anyway.

This month, it felt really good to get back in the groove of going to Mysore every day. After the initial PARALYZING PAIN AND STIFFNESS subsided it's been smooth sailing...I've even picked up one of the poses I had to drop because my muscles and joints had tightened too much over Christmas to actually GET INTO IT, and I'm baby-stepping my way towards headstand, which is exciting.

It didn't feel good to be so far OUT of the groove with the house. It took me three weeks to get Christmas dismantled and put away. It took me two weeks to get laundry under control. And I am still trying to get the Post-Christmas Deep Clean done. I haven't even been able to get all the dishes off the counter- not ONCE. I have To -Do Lists and schedules, I have the supplies, I just lack the Get-Up-And-Go to get it done.

The weather was FAN-TASTIC, with the exception of one week that was really, really cold. And I don't know if it was the nice weather or what, but the days felt SO much longer than they actually were, which was nice. I didn't feel as "I don't want to get out of bed or brush my teeth or shower" as I have during Januaries past (although I definitely felt more anxious than I have in a while, and a crazy sore throat kicked in today).

All in all, it wasn't a bad month, but it wasn't a great month. I am no closer to achieving the goals I set for myself- I haven't even taken a step towards them. I am starting February in the exact same place I started January.

Okay February. You're up next. Bring it on.

On Vignettes.

2012-01-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

Today, Jules over at Pancakes and French Fries wrote a post about vignettes.

Vignettes are the only difference between MY house, and the houses you see on design blogs or in magazines.

Well, vignettes and a crapload of dirty dishes.
And tons of empty walls.
And scratched floors.
And piles of undone laundry.

But mainly the vignettes.

Every time I see a vignette in a photo, I think "Hey, that looks really nice."

Followed almost immediately by "I wonder how long it takes them to dust all that stuff?"

Which is the main reason my house has no vignettes- the more stuff you have OUT, the more stuff you have to dust. And when you're like me, and you routinely consider selling your house and moving instead of actually CLEANING it, the less things you have to wipe down or dump shed dog hairs out of, the better.

A Messy Cook.

2012-01-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

I am potentially the messiest cook known to man.

Today, I made:

-two loaves of bread-ish stuff, to be frozen, sliced thin and baked a second time into Raincoast Crisp-like crackers.

-Cranberry sauce (yes, like at Christmas) to be mixed in with yogurt and granola, or spread on toast to increase my Vitamin C ingestion.

-a batch of Breakfast Bean Cookies (about two dozen)

-a cobbled together dinner of freshly-cooked pasta and home-made tomato sauce from Friday.

This adds to the giant pan of granola I baked yesterday, and the loaf of Caraway Rye bread that Andrew baked this morning.

As a result, I have no clear counterspace- every inch is either covered with food, or (more likely) dirty dishes. I have no clean measuring cups, very few measuring spoons (if I have to measure anything other than an eighth of a teaspoon or a full tablespoon, I'm screwed), no butter knives, no spatulas. Dishes are stacked into precarious towers, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be throwing Saran Wrap over the pots I cooked in and jamming them right into the fridge, because I don't think we have enough clean Tupperware to house everything (it doesn't help that I melted YET ANOTHER Tupperware last week by putting it on a still-warm burner after cooking dinner). I had grand plans of baking bagels after dinner tonight, but I can't- I have nothing to measure ingredients with, and no place to work.

It's like this EVERY time I cook, especially if I do a lot in a short time. And it takes me days to clean it up and get through the backlog of dishes (and heaven help me if we don't have leftovers to eat and I have to keep cooking dinners along the way).

Needless to say, I don't "clean as I go"- if I stop for anything, even a bathroom break, it takes me AGES to get back on track.

So, I push on, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake.

Another Post Marked "Random".

2012-01-28T22:54:00.000-07:00

I had a couple of ideas for post topics today- the local food movement, mental health, a couple others that I was JUST THINKING ABOUT but now can't recall (so clearly they were Pulitzer Prize worthy ideas)- but now it's almost 11 pm and I have yoga tomorrow morning so I need my sleep.

Also, if I've hit the point where ideas are *there* and then gone again in 10 seconds, any REAL post would take hours to write and would probably still be terrible and boring and unfunny (that's a word, right? I don't even know right now).

So- yeah. Also, I saw someone today in the street who I recognized, and I knew his name and his wife's name, but I can't for the life of me remember where I know them from. So there's that.

Quiet Weekend.

2012-01-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am very glad it's Friday.

It promises to be a quiet weekend.

We have no choice, we're (almost) out of money.

Europe in September plus Phoenix and Christmas in December meant our budget pretty much exploded. We need to get back on track, which means going back to an all-cash diet. It means carefully prioritizing wants and needs- from clothing and books to toothpaste and hair gel to food.

That also means that by the last week of the month, my wallet starts to feel very very light.

Today, I was THAT person, standing in the grocery store with my calculator, adding up my total as I worked my way through the aisles, putting things back as I went over budget. Pecans that were supposed to go into cookies will have to be swapped for almonds that I already have in the pantry. Local, organic yogurt was jettisoned in favour of a decidedly NOT local NOT organic yogurt that was almost half the price and had a coupon. Lunches for the week will have to be leftovers, or toast with peanut butter and jam. [The good news for my waistline is that there was no money for forbidden junk food or chocolate].

I added everything up twice before hitting the checkout and didn't take my eyes off the total as the cashier rang up my groceries. Coming in $6 under budget was a huge relief. But it was also hugely gratifying, realizing that I can plan four suppers (plus leftovers), breakfasts, lunches and snacks for Andrew and I on the cash I had left. It is also testament to just how much money you can save by doing things yourself- a small box of Raincoast Crisps costs $7, but the ingredients to make four batches myself only cost $9. Same goes with granola, and muffins, and bread, and the energy bars I'm planning on making. The convenience of having someone else do it for you can be a boon to your spare time, but an enormous drain on your budget.

Four days left in the month, and $6 (plus some change) to cover anything else we may need.

So...it's going to be a quiet weekend.

More on the List.

2012-01-26T20:39:00.000-07:00

To add to my List of Things To Do:

Reorganize my Blog Tags.

Of my 715 posts, 392 of them are categorized under "Random". Which really isn't that informative or helpful.

As I hit "Publish", make that 393.

On Sleep.

2012-01-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

It's 7:25 pm and I just spent 15 minutes comatose on the couch, followed by 10 minutes staring blankly at this screen.

I know that if I'm tired, I should just go to sleep. I know that, if given the chance, my body will suck up 10 hours of sleep a night.

But, the idea of going to bed every night at SIX THIRTY is beyond ridiculous. Half of the time, Andrew isn't even home until 6:15 because of post-work squash games, and most of the time dinner isn't on the table until 6 at the earliest. I would be sleeping through 100% of the time Andrew and I have together during the week. I'd be well rested, but the sacrifice wouldn't be worth it.

So...I guess it's back to two cups of coffee a day.

Nope, still boring.

2012-01-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

The last of the Christmas decorations officially made it into the basement today. It only took me, you know, the better part of a month. Whatever. No biggie.

I also tackled the dishes and started making a master list of everything that needs to be cleaned or purged or organized for the house to be officially DONE. Unfortunatley, I also checked the bank account and discovered that we are completely lacking the funds with which to purchase the materials I need to complete the house, so we'll see how much progress I can make on that front. I do have a hard deadline of March 1, because we need to gather our statements and slips and receipts to file our taxes...but before they can be GATHERED, they need to be FOUND.

It will be interesting, to say the least.

I'm Boring.

2012-01-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I feel so boring.

I'm actually glad that nobody reads this, because after the thousandth post of "Today I did dishes and laundry and wiped the counters and that was it", they would most likely run screaming for the hills.

This blog is a chronicle of my life, and unfortunately for me, my life currently is dishes and laundry and wiping the counters (with dog walking and grocery shopping thrown in for good measure).

Ugh.

Maybe I'll be more interesting tomorrow.

Christmas= Gone.

2012-01-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

Yes!! Tree gone!!

Yes!!! Garland gone!!!

[Don't ask me about the dishes or the laundry or the kitchen or the bathrooms]

More fun than Cleaning.

2012-01-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

So....half of our Christmas decorations are still up. But at least I'm making progress on that.

The counter is still covered in dishes. But I'm making progress on that too.

I didn't get to the laundry, but there's always tomorrow.

The house still needs to be cleaned, but there's always tomorrow.

Tonight, instead of staying home and continuing to work, I put on my best Western duds and headed out to a fundraiser with Andrew. We had a great meal, danced (or, "danced"...I'm not sure if the sway-and-turn that we do can accurately be called dancing), and won the silent auction item we bid on. It was SO MUCH FUN. Mega fun. Much more fun than packing up Christmas or cleaning.

Yay, it's Friday!!

2012-01-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

Great googly moogly, am I glad it's Friday.

I'm glad we can sleep in tomorrow. Very glad. VERY VERY VERY glad. Today is day two without coffee, and I feel like I'm a freaking zombie.

I'm glad it's supposed to warm up (the high is supposed to be ABOVE ZERO!!!!!)

I am hopeful that I can make some more progress on the house tomorrow.

I am glad that our frozen pipes thawed and Andrew's sink has running water again.

I am glad that for the time being, it doesn't look like the pipes cracked and are leaking (although I am furiously knocking on wood as I type this).

I am glad that it's almost 9:30, which means I can go to sleep without feeling like a total loser, which means that I can stop stuffing my face in an attempt to stay awake.

That is all.

Meal Planning.

2012-01-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong to want to eat cereal and pizza for a week??

I am trying to meal plan for the week so I can grocery shop, but everything sounds completely unappealing, or much too difficult to me to muster up the energy to attempt. Even this week I've barely cooked- we have survived on banana bread and sandwiches and salads and yogurt. I am JUST. NOT. FEELING. IT.

Sooooo.....is it wrong to want to eat cereal and pizza for a week??

Sigh

2012-01-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's 10:13, and morning comes early (very, very early) for me, and I really should be in bed.

Instead, I'm sitting with the laptop, catching up on Facebook and Twitter and blog reading that I was unable to do earlier this evening, basking in the sensation that I NO LONGER FEEL I AM DYING.

Okay, perhaps that is a little dramatic. But when you spend hours twitching and crazily flapping your hands and writhing in discomfort that you know stems from nothing except your miswired brain sending you screaming panic signals. Repeatedly. Incessantly. Until you start to really believe it. Until you think "Holy crap, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE."

This is not a new struggle to me. It's discouraging- I have come so far and made so much progress, but I am never quite out of the monster's grasp.

Current State of the House

2012-01-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

Christmas debris rendering the kitchen table useless.

The one lonely box of Christmas stuff that has actually been packed up.

Banana bread covering the counters, waiting to be wrapped and frozen.

Dishes and dishes and dishes and dishes and dishes. Oh, and empty bottles.

Another shot of the dishes and dishes and dishes and dishes.

Groceries that didn't make it into the pantry, bread oddly placed by the phone, today's paper that never made it out of it's wrapper.

Christmas decorations still up. At this rate, they may stay up until next Christmas.

Where Does The Day Go?

2012-01-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

I do not know where the day goes.

I think back to the fall, and I feel like I was getting a lot done. I look back at my blog postings and I KNOW I was getting a lot done. Yoga, Andrew to work, Dog walk, Dishes, Shower, Hair, Makeup, Breakfast, Newspaper and Email checked, all before 10. Errands were being done, the dog was being walked twice a day, the house was clean and tidy. I was within striking distance of actually starting work on my "Once This List Is Done, The House Is Organized And Decorated And Totally Finished" List.

Now, Yoga, Andrew to Work, Dog Walk, Shower, Hair and Makeup are lucky to happen before noon. I eat breakfast and check my email and suddenly it's 2 pm. Dishes and some laundry and it's time to prep dinner. Most days since Christmas I haven't even made the bed. Laundry sits for days, shoved into laundry baskets (or left in the washing machine....um, oops!). Dishes pile on the counters. The Christmas tree stands in the corner, fully decorated. Boxes and baubles litter the main floor, from my various attempts to pack decorations away and get them into storage. Tumblefurs the size of guinea pigs roll across the hardwood and half the groceries sit on the floor, waiting to be unpacked. Currently, I'm not even close to having a home I could entertain in, let alone getting started on the "Once This List Is Done...." list.

I don't understand what's happening. I'm (relatively) well rested. I'm getting up early, so I can get a good start on the day. I have to do lists, and plans, and strategies, and I'm STILL not getting anything accomplished. I'm getting that "Let's just move and start over" feeling again. Which is much more expensive than just CLEANING THE HOUSE.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.....?

Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

2012-01-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

The house smells like bananas.

Thirteen batches of banana bread later, the garbage bag of frozen bananas that have lurked at the bottom of the deep freeze for over three years is finally gone.

The counter is buried in dishes again, dinner was 5 banana muffins, the Christmas Tree is still fully decorated and I am no closer to being finished the laundry, but at least we have breakfast for the next six months or so. [And big thanks to Andrew- without his help as a banana peeling and ingredient assembling sous chef I would STILL be standing in front of the oven]

I don't know if it's the sugar rush from my "dinner" or the banana fumes going to my head, but I feel incredibly tired and incredibly hyper at the same time, and morning comes early...so I am going to turn on my meditation app and try to fall asleep.

We'll see if the scent of bananas follows me into dreamland.

Thinking and Thinking.

2012-01-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

The backlog of dirty dishes has finally been cleared.

The piles of laundry dotting the basement are cleared. Well, almost. There's always tomorrow after yoga.

The Christmas decorations are slowly being packed away.

I resisted the urge to order pizza and cooked dinner instead- Acorn Squash stuffed with Quinoa and Mushrooms, with Oven Baked Lasagna Pork Shoulder Steaks.

I even convinced Andrew to pull down the Christmas lights.

And I thought- about projects I want to tackle, things I want to try, what I want to accomplish in the upcoming week (Coles Notes Version: CLEAN THE DAMN HOUSE!), how personal I want to get on this blog. Part of me thinks: "Nobody reads this. Who the heck cares?", and then I think about the blogs I'm most attracted to, and how they provide an open window into someone else's life. It's reassuring to me to read about other people struggling with some of the same things I struggle with- it reminds me that I am not alone, and occasionally provides solutions that I hadn't even thought of. On the other hand, it's the Internet, and THE INTERNET IS FOREVER. Do I want my confessions floating around out there for all of eternity?

I'm not sure.

So, I think some more.

Friday Miscellany.

2012-01-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

I had a really good idea for a post, and then I had a fit of narcolepsy on the couch after dinner and now I totally forget my great idea.

I am glad it's Friday, I accomplished more today than I have since Christmas (crossing things off my To Do List feels SO GOOD- even if one of those tasks was "Make To Do List"), and my insomnia seems to have worked itself outalthough it may be contagious- Andrew can't sleep now. The dog, however, stubbornly remains unaffected.

I have to start my To Do List for tomorrow, and then off to bed. And yes, the first item on my list is "Make To Do List".

Unraveling.

2012-01-12T21:27:00.000-07:00

Or, maybe "Tripping Down the Rabbit Hole".

It's funny how one choice- reading an article- changes everything.

Up until recently (very recently), I was a head-to-the-store, grab-whatever-brand-is-cheapest-and-toss-it-in-the-cart kind of shopper. I recognized that there were shady parts of the products I bought- factory farming, animal testing, chemicals and pesticides and herbicides and waxes and sealants- but the idea of changing ANYTHING about how I shopped was overwhelming. I didn't even know where to start looking for information, and the sources I could find were radically contradictory to eat other, so I just gave up.

Now, through a dovetailing of Internet resources and cultural change and greater awareness of the impact of my choices on the world around me, the changes are happening almost on their own.

It started with beef. I swore off red meat for well over 8 years, and only allowed it back into my diet after meeting Andrew and his family- close friends of theirs are cattle ranchers, and when they were invited to a dinner with their beef as the centrepiece, I couldn't refuse a serving and still be considered polite. And after one meal, what was another.....so, beef was back on the table, with a small-scale, ethical, local producer to boot.

Two years ago, I read "Eating Animals", by Jonathan Safran Foer, followed by a viewing of "Temple Grandin", with Claire Danes. It exposed and reiterated things about food production in North America that I could no longer ignore, and spurred the next big overhaul- No meat from the grocery store. Ever. If I don't know where the animal came from, it doesn't get eaten (and this goes for restaurants and as many social engagements as I can politely get away with).

Unfortunately, this left a hole in our diet that I couldn't find anyone to fill. Chicken, pork and eggs became all but nonexistent in our diet.

But then, with the explosion of Farmer's Markets in Calgary, I found a pork producer. And I found an egg producer (and a backup, just in case). And Andrew books a fishing trip every summer to stock our freezer with Salmon caught the fair way- one guy, one pole, a boat, some knowledge and some luck.

Now attention has turned to dairy. We already didn't drink much milk (it was only really used in cooking), and I was able to find a small Goat Milk producer to cover what we did need. But, even a year after making that change, it JUST dawned on me that the yogurt that we have for breakfast every morning and the butter I bake with and the TON of cheese that we eat are all made with large-scale industrial farm milk. So, another change- Goat's milk yogurt and a small chunk of local Gouda have replaced the half-dozen plastic Astro tubs and the giant block of dyed orange Cheddar in our fridge.

We have signed up for a CSA share to get fresh veggies through the summer, fall and winter, are making plans for expanding our container garden this spring, and I'm trying to formulate a way to grow herbs indoors (we have a south facing window, I just don't know if it would be warm enough for the herbs). We have a line on a local grain, bean and legume supplier, are thinking about how to maximize our Community garden yield, and are even considering getting an inoculated log to grow our own mushrooms. If I could find a dairy where we could get sour cream and heavy cream, and a BC fruit supplier who would be willing to ship to Alberta so I could freeze and can (um...after I learn HOW to can, of course), we would truly be set.

And on the non-food side, all it took was one Globe & Mail article about animal testing labs, how they use Beagles because they are obedient and trusting of humans, and then precisely what they do to those beagles was enough to make me swear off any product with any ingredient tested on animals. That means new toothpaste and shampoo and conditioner and hair products and makeup and shaving cream and cleaning products and laundry soap and dishwasher tabs and hand soap and hand sanitizer and lotion and sunscreen- EVERYTHING. Even makeup brushes and latex sponges and nail polish. As an additional benefit, the cruelty-free products are usually better for us, better for the environment, and more sustainable.

Just a couple of years ago, none of these changes were possible- I had no idea what other options existed, or where to look in order to find them. But now, with a greater emergence of sustainable methods and local support and long term thinking, the information is out there- just waiting for someone to put it to good use.

And that is how your previous way of doing things starts unraveling.

9:24 PM

2012-01-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

I feel all weird and panicky. I didn't really get anything done around the house today- the dog didn't even get a walk.

I am currently gulping water and hoping I don't have to send Andrew out on a late night cracker run (Saltines or Stoned Wheat Thins are really the only things that help me calm down when I'm like this) and my leg is bouncing up and down like it's my job.

And that is what's happening right now.

This Is My House.

2012-01-10T20:40:00.000-07:00

This is what my house looks like right now.

My camera display shows little green boxes before I click the shutter- giving me an idea what the focus of the photo will be. For this shot, the camera helpfully highlighted the mess of dishes on the counter and the heap of recycling in the sink. Thanks for rubbing it in, Nikon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, SOME OF THESE DISHES ARE FROM JANUARY 3, AND THIS IS THE FIRST DAY I HAVEN'T HAD TO REACH OVER DIRTY DISHES TO USE THE KEURIG, I AM A TERRIBLE HOUSEKEEPER.

Why yes, that is a decapitated wise man from our nativity scene, that I have been meaning to fix for the last two weeks. Doesn't everyone have one of those?

This is what the kitchen table looks like right now. Empty yogurt containers, old newspapers, centrepieces from Christmas that are slowly getting mineral rings as the water evaporates, an elbow brace, miscellaneous pieces of recycling. And the computer, naturally.

I should be ashamed to post these photos, especially considering how well I was doing at keeping house prior to Christmas. But I clearly am not, since I am posting these to the Internet for posterity.

Cooking Tip.

2012-01-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

When you're making pancakes, ensure you grab the 1 cup measuring cup. If you just grab the biggest measuring cup in the drawer, assuming that it's the full cup, it could actually be the 1/2 cup measure. Then your pancake batter will be ridiculously thin and you won't figure out why until you take a closer look at the dirty measuring cup the next day. And then you will feel dumb. But you will tell your husband about it anyway because HAHAHAHA THAT STUFF REALLY HAPPENS, and if you can't laugh at your spouse (and yourself), then who CAN you really laugh at??

Reboot.

2012-01-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Monday again.

Time to forget about the massive failure that was last week, move on, reboot, and try to do better this week.

The Internet.

2012-01-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

The Internet is a blessing and a curse.

It is the way I discover horrible things- the damage we're doing to the environment, the species we're pushing to extinction, the homogenization of our food supply, animal testing.

But the Internet can also be an amazing place- with listings of local family farms, advice on growing your own vegetables, places to buy wheeled carts for hauling groceries home, lists of which companies ban animal testing.

There are so many things that I just never thought about until recently. But now I'm thinking about them, and I can't stop, and I need to make a change.

And when I need the information to be able to do this- there it is.

Big Zero.

2012-01-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

This week has been a BIG. FAT. ZERO in terms of completing To Do Lists.

I accomplished absolutely NOTHING this week, other than obtaining groceries and running some errands today.

I look back at my post from the start of the week and I laugh- I was so prepared, and I had my lists all written up and ready to go, and it all came to naught.

As punishment, I now have to spend my weekend doing laundry and cleaning, instead of relaxing and spending time with Andrew.

Um, Merry Ukrainian Christmas to me.

Yoga.

2012-01-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

This week has proven to me just how much my Yoga practice suffered over the Christmas season.

My muscles are incredibly tight- I can't even touch my toes without bending my knees anymore. My arms are incredibly weak, and after three practices my shoulders are so sore I can barely life my arms to take my necklaces off at the end of the day- it's all I can do not to bodyslam my yoga mat when I'm descending into plank position, because I can't hold myself in a hover. I am sloooooooooow at practicing, and have even had to drop several poses simply because I'm no longer flexible enough to get into them.

Returning to my practice after our trip to Europe wasn't this difficult. In fact, I don't even remember hurting this much when I first began my practice, back in May.

The saying around the studio is "The only cure for difficult yoga is more yoga". So....if my muscles hurt from practice, the only thing to do is keep practicing, and know that eventually my hamstrings will loosen and my shoulders will strengthen and I'll get back to where I once was.

A Story About Sleep.

2012-01-04T20:22:00.001-07:00

So, Monday night I couldn't fall asleep. I just laid there, watching the clock, willing myself to fall asleep. I finally nodded off somewhere around 1 am, which I only figured out because I woke up at 2:15. So, three hours sleep, because my alarm goes off at 4:20 am.

I got up, and went to yoga, and walked the dog, and had a coffee and tried to get stuff done.

But at 6 pm, I was on the couch and fading fast.

And then I was like "Hey, if I have a coffee, I'll be more alert, and then I can tidy up a bit and get back in the groove".

So, 7 pm coffee it was.

But it took FOR-FREAKING-EVER to kick in.

And then it was 2 am and I was still awake and I had to be up at 4:20. So that makes a total of 5 hours of sleep over the course of two days. A far cry from the glorious 9 hours a night I was getting over Christmas.

So I get up and drag myself out of bed and go to the Yoga studio and practice. And then I took Andrew to work and walked the dog and came home and sat down to check my email and blinked

and it was THREE AND A HALF HOURS LATER.

I am not even joking.

And that was my day.

What Things Become.

2012-01-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

It's funny, what things become.

10 pm becomes 11:30 pm becomes 12 am becomes 4:20 am and an alarm tinkling next to my head.

Warm bed becomes cold bathroom floor becomes a yoga studio.

Best intentions of tackling my To Do List at 8:30 becomes 10 am becomes Noon becomes 2:30 becomes rushing around, trying to be home by 4 to start dinner.

Pasta with Roasted Red Pepper Cream Sauce with Garlic and Pine Nuts becomes Sundried Tomato Cream Sauce with Spinach and No Garlic and No Pine Nuts due to lack of canned Roasted Red Peppers and lack of time to roast my own and a sale on frozen Spinach and Garlic gone moldy and rancid Pine Nuts.

Dinner prep becomes piles of dirty dishes on the counter.

Best intentions of cleaning becomes exhaustion on the couch becomes a (potentially ill-advised) cup of coffee at 7 pm becomes passing out for 15 minutes waiting for it to kick in.

More intentions of cleaning becomes surfing Pintrest becomes blogging.

Best intentions for today become best intentions for a more productive day tomorrow.

Back To Reality.

2012-01-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

So, the great Moldy Juice Scare of 2012 came and went and I didn't die.

Which is a pretty great way to start the year, you have to admit.

But today is the last day before Andrew goes back to work...which means it's the day before I go back to work as well.

This has been a great break.

Andrew and I spent the car trip back from Edmonton on Boxing Day making a comprehensive list of all the tasks we wanted to accomplish. Which initially fired me up (because there is nothing I love more than crossing things off a To-Do List!!), but then just left me feeling tired.

My job, every day, is cleaning and tidying and organizing and cooking and running errands. The problem is, I live where I work- I don't get to pack it up and go home at the end of the day and leave it all behind. Which makes it difficult to carve out break time. Especially when you have a partner who seizes upon days away from the office as a fine opportunity to GET THINGS DONE.

To Andrew's credit, he heard me when I explained this.

And we spent the rest of the week sleeping in, reading the paper, watching shows we had recorded on the PVR and lounging on the couch.

But, tomorrow sends me back to reality.

Back to Yoga at 5 am and errands and cleaning and organizing.

I just pulled a pan of granola out of the oven, ready for breakfasts for the week.

I am making my To Do List for the week.

I am preparing a grocery list and thinking about all the errands I need to run tomorrow.

It's back to the grind- but I feel like I'm prepared.

January 1.

2012-01-01T22:49:00.000-07:00

So it's the first day of the New Year and I'm already worried I poisoned myself because there are gross white chunks floating in the juice I've been drinking all day.

Y'all. I MIGHT DIE.

Gross.

New Years Eve.

2011-12-31T20:50:00.000-07:00

Ah, New Years Eve.

The last day of normal life, before we wake up on January 1, magically transformed into the person you've always wanted to be.

Um...not really.

January 1 is the day most people wake up with a horrible hangover and reach for McDonalds/Denny's/Cupcakes and promise themselves tomorrow...tomorrow...I'll start tomorrow.

Every January 1st, I have been the same- pledging that THIS is going to be the year that everything changes, the year that everything falls into place.

And every December 31, I've been equally disappointed at the shortcomings and failures that have marked the previous year.

This year, I feel like I have done a lot of work on myself. I feel like I've made changes and in the process discovered things about myself that I never knew.

This year, I may be in a position to make the changes I've always wanted to make.

I may actually be able to create the life for myself that I've always wanted.

And that possibility is incredibly exciting.

I cannot wait to see what 2012 brings.

Christmas Vacation.

2011-12-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

I love Christmas vacation.

I am getting more rested and more jiggly by the day.

Equation.

2011-12-29T10:25:00.001-07:00

Dinner with Friends + Getting home after midnight = No post.

Today I.

2011-12-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

Today I:

Unpacked our suitcases.

Put away all our Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers.

Ran 3 loads of dishes.

Washed a big load of towels.

Went out to dinner with friends.

Tried very hard not to think about JUST HOW MANY people I know who are currently sidelined with Norwalk.

Tried very very hard not to lock myself in the bathroom with a giant bottle of soap and spend the day washing my hands.

Tried very very very hard to fight my instinct to bar all the doors and quarantine myself inside until this outbreak is over.

Christmas Vacation.

2011-12-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

Today was an absolutely glorious day of doing nothing.

Didn't unpack.

Didn't tidy up.

Ran exactly one errand, did exactly two loads of laundry, did exactly one load of dishes.

Christmas vacation is awesome.

Boxing Day Miscellany.

2011-12-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

We're home from Christmas.

We somehow managed to pack my parent's Apple TV remote in our gifts.

I am desperately fighting the urge to quarantine myself in an effort to avoid the horrible stomach bug going around right now.

It's 10:46 and I'm seriously wondering why I'm still awake.

That is all.

Christmas Day.

2011-12-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

The food is eaten (the leftovers which fill the fridge to overflowing are another story).

The gifts are opened and the stockings are empty.

My Christmas was Merry and Bright.

I am thankful for all that I have- food, family, and everything else that goes along with it.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Christmas Eve.

2011-12-24T12:04:00.001-07:00

Christmas Eve Eve

2011-12-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

Christmas dinner = success.

Tired now.

More later.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve.

Christmas Time.

2011-12-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

The food is prepped.

The To-Do list for tomorrow is done.

I have had my regular Pre-Dinner Party Freakout and Temper Tantrum with an associated Bad Mood.

And NOW it's Christmas.

Christmas Chest Hair.

2011-12-21T16:34:00.003-07:00

Forgot to post again last night.

Also- the Ghost of Christmas Present in the 1984 version of A Christmas Carol has a robe that is open to the navel. His chest hair is showing. It's a little "bow-chicka-wow-wow" for a heartwarming Christmas tale, even if it was made in the 80's.

Doable.

2011-12-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

I don't have to clean the house again until NEXT YEAR!!!!

Which is exciting....but would be much more impressive if it was, say, JULY right now and not December 20.

I don't know what I did differently, but the deep-clean that usually takes me two days only took one this time around, which puts me a WHOLE DAY AHEAD OF SCHEDULE....which will give me time to catch up and wrap up things that I didn't complete on the weekend, before I chain myself to the stove on Thursday.

This might actually be doable. Maybe maybe maybe.

Work.

2011-12-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

Work work work work work.

I got the grocery shopping done- I was *that person*, trailing a convoy of courtesy clerks pushing shopping carts as I headed back to my car. But I have almost everything I need- I have a few more items to pick up Thursday and Friday, but that will be quick.

Then- I had to figure out my sewing machine. And THEN I had to learn to sew. My bloodied fingertips attest to the fact I'm still working on that part.

And considering that it's 11:14 and morning comes early (VERY early) for me, I should get back to work.

Time's up.

2011-12-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

Time is up.

Did I get my projects done?

No.

Onward and upward- tomorrow is Grocery and Errand day.

Now, bed.

Close to the Wire.

2011-12-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

The presents are wrapped.

The baking is two-thirds done.

I made dinner for tonight and granola for breakfasts for the week.

I did two loads of laundry and three loads of dishes.

I am currently working on an ornament mobile that just might drive me to drink.

I have one day left (and as much time as I can squeak out of the evenings this week, but I'm not banking on that) and I have two new projects to tackle and one involves me, um, learning how to use my sewing machine and actually using it properly. Yeeeeeeah. We'll see how that one turns out. (hint- don't hold your breath).

Will I make it? I don't know....

Yes!!

2011-12-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

I kicked ass today, if I do say so myself.

I walked the dog for almost 90 minutes this morning, dropped most of the Christmas Cards in the mail (UNLESS YOU ARE EXPECTING ONE, IN WHICH CASE THEY WERE MAILED LAST WEEK), did four loads of dishes and three loads of laundry, hauled approximately 70 pounds of recycling out to the curb, emptied all of the garbage cans (I was getting tired of cleaning up Kleenex snowstorms due to the dog shredding the garbage), I stripped the bed and changed the bedding, changed the towels, hooked up the last string of Christmas lights, finished decorating the banister, tidied the house, and started working on my next Christmas project (until the math got too frustrating for me and my brain started to hurt). I'll try again in the morning.

Let's see if I can keep this going tomorrow....

Better!

2011-12-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Today went better.

The dog actually got a walk, I did three loads of laundry, folded the two-week-old piles that were filling our laundry baskets, ran 3 loads of dishes and got the Christmas cards finished (unless you are expecting a Christmas Card from us, in which case DISREGARD THIS POST, THE CARDS WERE IN THE MAIL TWO WEEKS AGO, I SWEAR). We even made it past the Holy-crap-you-printed-the-Christmas-letters-even-though-I-hadn't-proofread-them-and-now-they-have-to-be-reprinted snafu.

If I can keep this up, I might *actually* get everything done (I do recognize that by saying that, I have just jinxed myself beyond all belief).

Regroup.

2011-12-14T21:48:00.000-07:00

Okay.

I ditched my To Do Lists, and started again.

I have four days to finish all the decorating and the gift wrapping.

Then I have one day to grocery shop and finish any errands I have to do.

Then I have two days to clean the house LIKE IT HAS NEVER BEEN CLEANED BEFORE.

Then I have one day to prep food LIKE IT HAS NEVER BEEN PREPPED BEFORE.

And then....Christmas!!!

We'll see if this goes any better.

Tired.

2011-12-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

I am tired beyond belief. I had an idea for a good post, but I'm just too tired to deal with it.

Oh, and the extension cord we use to plug in our Christmas Tree fried this morning. I guess 2200 lights is a titch too many for it to handle.

The Outcome.

2011-12-12T21:12:00.000-07:00

So, I lost.

It wasn't even CLOSE- it was a stomping. Even if I had started the big scorers I left on my bench I still would have lost, but it would have been a squeaker.

Tense Day.

2011-12-11T09:43:00.000-07:00

Today could be a tense day in our house- Andrew and I go head-to-head in the first round of our Fantasy Football Playoffs. The winner moves on to the next round, the loser is out.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.

Bug.

2011-12-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

For the third time in as many months, I am battling some kind of bug. The symptoms are always the same- headache, incredibly sore throat, lethargy (the lethargy may just be laziness. The jury is still out on that one.)

I don't understand, but it's annoying and it sucks.

[And the tree is almost lit. I need to add more lights around the outside, and then fluff and decorate it.]

Lights.

2011-12-09T23:48:00.000-07:00

The tree is exactly one quarter lit. The rest is sitting in a pile on the couch.

I cannot believe how long it's taking me to get the lights on. And the fact that I think the outside of the tree is not bright enough is a completely different matter. And the fact I'm worried that the number of lights on the tree could burn the house down is another completely different matter.

Tomorrow is Andrew's company Christmas Party, and his birthday brunch is on Sunday, and that cuts down on my "HOLY CRAP I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME CHRISTMAS IS 16 SLEEPS AWAY!!" madly panicked working time.

Currently, I am envious of the dog- sacked out on the floor, blissfully unaware of all the chaos around her.

Stymied.

2011-12-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

Another day with nothing accomplished.

I am stymied.

I love Christmas. LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas. Most of my To-Do List is Christmas related. I don't understand why I can't get motivated.

I do know that every passing day makes the next one that much more difficult- especially since I thought there were THREE weekends until Christmas, and there are actually only two.

Tomorrow, stuff will get done....maybe?? Hopefully???

Words.

2011-12-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

So....a post with words.

I took a break partly to see if I could stop stressing about my To-Do List, calm down, focus, and actually start accomplishing things.

Mostly, though, we were just gone to Phoenix, and we didn't want to pay the $13 a day for Internet, so we were leaving the laptop behind.

I did not get off to a hot start. The To-Do Lists from last night has zero tasks completed, and I accomplished 5 things off my 15 item list from today, and even those were hit and miss- I got Andrew's birthday cake baked, but dinner was so late that we ate it as an appetizer instead, the counter was covered in dishes, our suitcases aren't unpacked and none of the clean laundry got put away. And tomorrow is already Thursday (it IS Thursday tomorrow, right??), which gives me 4 days to complete 5-and-a-half days worth of To-Do-List tasks.

Hopefully the calming and the focus and the accomplishing will start any minute now.

Unposted Photos.

2011-12-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

Unposted Photos.

2011-12-05T11:04:00.001-07:00

Unposted Photos.

2011-12-04T11:04:00.001-07:00

Unposted Photos.

2011-12-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

Unposted Photos.

2011-12-02T09:47:00.001-07:00

Overwhelmed.

2011-12-01T23:09:00.000-07:00

I am getting completely overwhelmed with Christmas preparations. My To Do List just keeps getting longer, and I am stuggling (again!) just to keep up with my day-to-day responsibilities (the poor dog didn't even get a morning walk today- Andrew had to take her out after work!).

I am forcing myself to take a break. If I can rest and relax, then maybe I'll be able to think. If I can think, then I can formulate a plan. And if I am rested and relaxed and have a plan, then I can focus on the task at hand and get it done.

I hope.

Christmas Tree.

2011-11-30T21:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is December 1.

I have to get the tree up.

I still have no idea how I'm going to light it.

I am overthinking this, but I don't know how to stop.

Still Deciding.

2011-11-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

One day later, I'm still staring at the un-assembled stumps of the unlit Christmas tree. I am no closer to figuring out exactly how I am going to go about doing...whatever it is I decide to do, and I haven't even gotten that far yet.

I do wish I hadn't ripped all the lights off the tree last year- as poorly strung as they were, at least I'd have SOMETHING now- I wouldn't be starting from scratch.

Also, how crazy is it that I take my Christmas tree THIS SERIOUSLY.

Decisions, Decisions.

2011-11-28T21:56:00.000-07:00

My dilemma:

I am lighting our Christmas Tree.

To light it like I want to would require close to 5000 lights (based on my first attempt at relighting, which used almost 100 lights on one branch alone). This would not only be expensive and time consuming, but an extreme fire hazard as well.

I don't want a poorly lit tree, and I don't want to be ripping lights off and redoing everything on an annual basis. However, I am not only staring down the barrel of a deadline, but I am dealing with budgetary constraints as well.

So...now I don't know what to do.

Forgotten Again.

2011-11-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, it's a good thing I'm not officially doing NaBloPoMo again this year, because I totally would have failed. Twice now. I've blogged every day for over a year, and I've just been....forgetting. Which is shocking, because aren't habits supposed to override forgetting and stuff?

I am Ridiculous.

2011-11-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

Truly.

So we have this spider plant. It's scraggly and scrawny and has next to no roots, as I discovered when I repotted it this fall.

Now, it has bugs of some sort. Little black flies, like fruit flies or something. But they've hunkered down in the potting soil and are multiplying like crazy.

So, I was going to toss the plant. It looks terrible. It doesn't get any bigger, EVER. It has bugs that are infesting our house. All perfectly good reasons to chuck it.

So this afternoon, Andrew took the pot outside- we're going to let the chilly weather kill the bugs before bringing it back inside. He yanked the spider plant and tossed the leaves on the lawn to break down over the winter.

And then I felt bad- REALLY BAD- for this poor little plant.

For the last 5 years, it has been subjected to poor light and sparse watering and no food. And yet, it STILL survived- it did the best it could (but no wonder it didn't grow!), and just kept plugging along, cleaning and purifying our air. And I repay it by chucking it out in the cold.

So, little spider plant- I'm sorry I failed you, and I'm sorry I threw you out. You deserved better treatment than you received.

And to everyone else, I'm sorry you had to be subjected to my planticidal guilt. I realize that it is ridiculous, even for me.

Apologies.

2011-11-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the two crappy posts (one of which was a day late, and probably a dollar short).

The house is a mess, and my To-Do List is very long, and my deadline is looming. I'm tired and scattered and slightly overwhelmed and wondering if I've taken on too much. I'm struggling to find a place to start, and fighting the urge to just check out and do nothing. I'm eating more- partly because I'm tired, mostly because I'm stalling. My email is always checked, as are Facebook and Twitter and Pintrest and dozens of blogs.

So, things aren't coming easy this week. I just have to keep plugging along- at this point, there is nothing more I can do.

8:03.

2011-11-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

It's 8:03. I have already fallen asleep on the couch once.

So I'm going to bed.

Mess.

2011-11-23T19:53:00.001-07:00

For three days, I've been doing nothing but running around and battling crowds.

The house is a disaster. The counters are covered in dishes, the cutlery drawer is empty and the fridge is bare.

But it will be worth it when it's all done (I hope).

Short Post.

2011-11-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

Our wireless router died, so in order to get Internet access, we have to plug the laptop into the modem itself.

Which means I'm sitting on my sewing desk, hunched into the space between the desktop and the hanging shelves above, gripping the laptop with my wrists to keep it from sliding off my knees onto the floor (because, OF COURSE, I don't have a chair for my sewing nook yet. After 3 years. But I digress.)

So, anyway, until I get a new router (or perhaps a spine transplant), this will have to suffice.

Behind Already.

2011-11-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

I've got granola baking in the oven and dozens of Christmas decor ideas running through my head.

The funny part is, I've been trying to hold off- I didn't want to seem too eager, too Christmas-crazy. I thought it would be respectful to at least let Remembrance Day pass before I busted out the carols and the cookies and the baubles.

But now I'm finding that I'm actually late in getting started. The stores are starting to get picked over, stock is getting depleted, final shipments from warehouses have been received.

In the space of a day I went from being ahead of the game to playing catchup.

Granola done. Time for bed. Visions of sugarplums dancing in my head.

Trying.

2011-11-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

My brain is now in full-on Christmas mode.

Trying to finalize the menu for Christmas Dinner.

Trying to get a Christmas gift list together.

Trying to figure out what Christmas cards to order.

Trying to get a list of decorations together.

Trying to forget the Stroganoff I made for dinner that turned out more like soup than anything else (points to Andrew for eating it anyway, and having seconds).

Trying not to get too far ahead of myself- trying to remember that Christmas is great, but every day leading up to it is just as great and just as important, and I will regret wasting them and rushing through them and skipping over them.

Lights and Tinsel.

2011-11-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

So...I love Christmas.

I have been trying to hold on until December 1 to decorate the house, because I do think it's ridiculous that the Christmas season seems to start the day after Canadian Thanksgiving. But now that it's getting dark earlier and it's cold and snowing (a tiny bit, anyway) and the malls are all decorated and the stores are full of lights and tinsel and garlands and wreaths, I am getting really excited to put up our own tree and trim the house and bake cookies and send out Christmas cards.

Next weekend is American Thanksgiving, which is the "official" start of the Christmas season in North America....maybe it's not so bad if I start putting things out now?

Hibernate.

2011-11-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

Today was the first *really* cold day we've had since last winter.

And almost instantly, all I want to eat is carbs.

My dinner tonight was an entire 2-cup Tupperware container of (homemade) granola.

Now I'm craving pasta.

At lunch I wanted French Fries.

I own sweaters and socks and mittens and jackets, I live in a house with a working furnace, a gas fireplace and enough blankets to last a lifetime. It's not like I need to bulk up for warmth or anything. And I definitely can't hibernate until springtime with the bears.

But the impulse is still there, nonetheless.

Accomplished.

2011-11-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

So, I went to Yoga today.

Getting up was fairly easy, as I woke about every two hours. I didn't even let my alarm go off.

Practice was slow- I was stiff and my muscles were tight, and I shortened my sequence a bit, but I did practice.

[And then I took Andrew to work, walked the dog, did three loads of dishes, went to the grocery store, cleaned the bathrooms, cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, washed the hardwood, tidied the house, picked Andrew up after work, bathed the dog, bathed myself, made dinner and ran a load of laundry. But I digress]

I am tired, and morning came early. But it felt good to get up and moving, and I accomplished a lot because I got a fairly good start.

So, at least for today and tomorrow, I'm sticking with Mysore.

Back to the Grind.

2011-11-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

So, my cold is pretty much gone.

I know I *should* get back to Mysore.

But it is SO NICE to be able to sleep in until (GASP!) 6:30 or 7:00.

I like getting my practice out of the way first thing in the morning. Then my day isn't broken up, I can eat at normal times (instead of timing my meals to be no closer than 4 hours before the start of class), and I have my evenings at home. I also would never learn any new poses had I just stuck with the led classes.

But morning comes early. And I think that sleep deprivation contributed to this ass-kicking cold I'm just getting over.

So I don't know.

Yeasticide.

2011-11-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

Today, I committed yeasticide.

I wanted to bake bread, not in the breadmaker. I knew I had the ingredients I needed, so I dig up a recipe and got to work.

The recipe told me to add water that was over 100 degrees. So I boiled the kettle, and kept going. Mixed everything together, covered it, and walked away to let it rise.

I came back 15 minutes later, took off the tea towel, and stared at the lump of unrisen dough.

Then I read the instructions again.

The blogger is from the United States. So, when she said "Over 100 degrees", she meant in FAHRENHEIT, not Celsius. I totally understand why she didn't feel the need to specify that- it's not like anyone uses Celsius anyway (except for the WHOLE WORLD, but I DIGRESS).

So, when I dumped the boiling water into my bowl, I killed all the yeast, which is why the dough didn't rise.

*sigh* Mark this one for a redo.

AAAAAAAAAAND.....

2011-11-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Now my ears are prickly and itchy. And my throat hurts again. And I have a cough.

But at least my nose has mostly stopped running and my eyes aren't watering anymore.

Still Sicko.

2011-11-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

I'm still sick.

Better than yesterday, but not totally recovered.

I even skipped yoga this morning.

It wasn't an easy decision- I mean, logically I knew I couldn't practice, what with Kleenex being a permanent fixture in my palm. I just don't want anyone to question my dedication to my practice. I don't want anyone to think that I just felt like sleeping in on Sunday, instead of getting up and getting ready. But I also don't want to be the person that I hate- the one who shows up, coughing and sneezing, insisting they "had" to be there. What, is the fate of the free world resting on your shoulders? I think not. Stay home and stop spreading your germs!!!

So I stayed home and stopped spreading my germs.

Sicko.

2011-11-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

I hab a code.

Not like Morse. A code. A CODE. COOOOOOOOOOOOODE.

A cold.

I have demolished an entire box of Kleenex and my right eye is red and swollen from rubbing it nonstop.

Other than doing one load of dishes, I spent the entire day on the couch, in front of the TV. I didn't even make dinner- we just ordered pizza. Bad for the budget, but good for recovery.

So, now I sit, teaching myself to knit, waiting for an appropriate time to go to sleep.

Lest We Forget.

2011-11-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Even MORE of The Big List!!!

2011-11-10T19:42:00.000-07:00

I also want to:

- Go skating at one of the gorgeous Rocky Mountain lodges.

- Try downhill skiing.

- Make pyrogies from scratch, using my grandma's recipe.

- Make Paska and Babka from scratch.

- Make pasta from scratch.

More of The Big List.

2011-11-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

Oooh oooh oooooh! I thought of more!!!

I ALSO want to:

- Go to the Calgary Farmers Market (yes, I've lived here for 6 years and have never been there!)

- Go to one of those Paint places and find something ceramic to paint.

- Learn to darn a sock.

- Make a loaf of bread from scratch, not using the breadmaker.

- Take swimming lessons.

- Go canoeing.

- Learn to start a campfire and keep it going.

- Have a picnic.

- Go to a Carly's Angels show.

The Big List.

2011-11-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

I am 28. I turn 29 in a few months. And then a year after that, I will be 30.

And there are things I want to do.

I want to:

- Finally get the house completely organized- every drawer and cupboard and closet.
- Purge. Clothes, books, dishes, shoes, the works. Anything we don't need, goes.
- Hang artwork! We've already started, but we still have a lot of empty walls. In our old house, we didn't put ANYTHING on the walls until we listed the place to sell it.

- Sew four pillow covers for the basement.
- Sew at least one pillow cover for the living room. I'm hoping to do more, but I think I should start small, especially since we'll need probably 6 or 8 pillows for the couches and ottoman.

- Knit one pair of socks.
- Knit a hat, scarf and mitten set.
- Knit something with a cableknit pattern.

- Sew a piece of clothing.

- Make two projects I have pinned on Pintrest.

- Make my lunch, every day for a week, instead of just eating random stuff from the fridge and pantry (or nothing at all).

- Register and run in one 5K race and one 10K race.

- Learn to Cross-Country Ski.

- Go snowshoeing.

- Try indoor rock climbing.

- Make a pie (crust and everything) from scratch.

- Make one piece of jewelery that I would actually wear.

That is all I can think of for now. But this list is definitely a work in progress.

Doggie Update.

2011-11-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

I took the dog back to the vet today for a bandage check.

She was still bleeding a bit, so two more days with the wrapping was the verdict.

And we can only walk her if she's putting weight on her paw- which she WAS.....but isn't now, for some reason (bandage too tight maybe??). So....no walks.

And I was so looking forward to putting her in jaunty red booties and going for a spin tonight.

Maybe tomorrow.

Tradeoffs.

2011-11-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I sacrificed a day on the couch in my yoga pants in favour of being out in the world with REAL PEOPLE, and I'm glad I did.

First, there was yoga. Standard. I left a sweaty, tired mess.

Then, there was brunch with friends we hadn't seen since Summer 2010. Um, poutine for breakfast?? YES PLEASE!!! Inappropriate conversation about strippers optional.

And finally, there was a meeting with a friend who I hadn't seen in over two years. We were plunked in a fairly busy place, and I'm certain that the teenage girls next to us were eavesdropping and whispering back and forth about us (probably something to the effect of "OH MY GOD, THOSE OLD WOMEN ARE TOTALLY CRAZY!!!!!!") Three and a half hours later, we only left because my friend had promised to make her boyfriend a late dinner and he kept sending her texts that read "I'M STARVING!!!" and "OH MY GOD I'M SO HUNGRY!!!!!!"

So yes, there were tradeoffs. Other offers I had to say no to (including one from the couch and the unfolded laundry and the dirty dishes on the counter). But I think it was worth it.

Green Bandage.

2011-11-05T20:36:00.000-06:00

The saddest sound in the world is the sound of a dog crying.

Especially when you know you can't do anything about it.

Today, the dog ripped another one of her nails off in the back of the car. BLOOD. EVERYWHERE.

A trip to the vet, $400 dollars and one bandage later, she was down one nail and stoned, but home.

Well, 8 hours later, the painkillers have worn off, and the poor dog can do nothing but whimper and cry.

She's had her dose of Anti-Inflammatories for the night, and there are no human painkillers that are safe to give her. We all just have to tough it out.

And the guilt of hearing her cry- and knowing she's in pain which she doesn't deserve and which we are powerless to relieve- is our punishment for not taking better care of her, and doing a better job of keeping her safe.

The Dream.

2011-11-04T21:09:00.000-06:00

I am exhausted.

In addition to getting up before the crack of dawn, and then spending my days busily working my way through my To-Do list, I have been having the same dream every night.

In that dream, I wake up and roll over and look at the clock, only to discover that I've massively overslept.

So then when I actually DO wake up and look at the clock, I am very confused, and end up fully waking myself in order to have the brainpower necessary to determine what is actually going on.

So, I am going to bed. 9 pm on a Friday and unfinished To-Do list be damned.

Numbered List.

2011-11-03T21:06:00.000-06:00

1. I miss chocolate.

2. I really miss chocolate.

3. I cleaned the house today. It was a long day.

4. I got three new poses in Yoga today. I think I may have imploded my ribcage.

5. Seriously, I think I did something to my sternum.

6. And I have to do that exact same thing again tomorrow.

7. I don't have a number 7. I'm really tired.

Needs.

2011-11-02T21:04:00.000-06:00

I need a gym membership.

And a personal trainer.

And some sedatives to get me through the sugar withdrawal over the next couple of days.

I have done nothing for the last week and a half but gorge myself on chocolate. Cute, individually wrapped, fun-sized chocolate. The calories don't count if the package is smaller than your thumb, right??

So now my gut is burning and the seams of my yoga pants are screaming for mercy, and all I want is MORE CHOCOLATE.

But what I need is to remember how to survive without 17 pounds of sugar running through my veins.

Scenes From a Marriage.

2011-11-01T20:15:00.000-06:00

The Scene: Andrew and I, just about to go to sleep. I blow my nose, and see red.

Andrew: Do you have a nosebleed? That's not normal for you!

Me: It's really light- maybe it's beet juice!

Andrew: .......?

Me: .......!!

And...SCENE.

Don't Make Me Run...

2011-10-31T19:59:00.000-06:00

I'm full of chocolate!!!

It's Halloween, we (mostly me) ate two of the four boxes of candy I purchased before the first Trick or Treater even rang the doorbell, and we have already more than doubled our kid-count from any previous year.

Andrew is incredibly proud of his Jack O'Lantern (which has been lit every night since Saturday)....

And I am proud of the cute little inflatable witch I found on sale last week.

We also had our first touch of snow this morning- it was really more of a thick rain, and it certainly didn't stick, but it was a reminder of what is still in store.

And that, my friends, was October.

Following Instructions.

2011-10-30T21:59:00.000-06:00

I was instructed to do this.

That is all.

Ready For Snow.

2011-10-29T20:36:00.000-06:00

Andrew cleaned out the gutters today. And organized the garage.

I cleaned the exterior windows- even the ones on the second floor (cut to me, hanging out the window while Andrew holds my leg....which then became Andrew, tiptoeing along the roof overhang, two stories above the ground. True story. I kept joking that the whole situation felt like a Darwin Award waiting to happen).

The backyard is raked. The front yard will be done this week, and the leaves dropped off at the city collection yard, along with the expired jack-o-lantern.

Once I pick up a new snow shovel, we will be ready for winter. Not that I'm in any hurry for it to snow- AT ALL. But at least this year, we won't be rushing around like crazy people, trying to get everything completed while the first flakes float to the ground.

Mental Health Day.

2011-10-29T00:10:00.000-06:00

You know how sometimes you wake up on a weekday, and you roll over and swat the snooze button and think about all the stuff that's going on at work and how overwhelming it is, and how tired you are, and how comfortable your bed is...and then you grab the phone and call in "sick" and spend the day napping and watching bad daytime TV in your pajamas on the couch?

No, neither do I. Because that would be wrong. *cough*cough*

But one of the downsides of not working outside the home is that you don't really get to take a mental health day. What, am I going to spend the day hanging out in an office lobby to get a break? I think not.

This morning, I woke up in a foul mood. I was tired, and cranky, an annoyed that Andrew had decided not to take a nap on Thursday night before hockey (which meant that I could have gone to bed as well, and actually gotten a solid 8 hours of sleep).

So I took a mental health day.

I did nothing around the house- I didn't even make the bed. I read the paper for two hours, then I noodled around on the Internet for 2 hours. Then I took a FOUR HOUR NAP. That's right, I slept for half the workday (which isn't as impressive as when I had mono in my last semester of University and was taking 8 hour naps, in addition to sleeping for 8 to 10 hours at night, but still). Then I walked the dog for two hours.

And then I was in a better mood.

Thank. Goodness.

2011-10-27T19:05:00.000-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, we had Andrew's parents over for dinner.

While we were eating in the dining room, the back door screen was wide open- which I didn't realize until I wondered why the house was full of bugs all of a sudden.

Three years ago, my sister and brother in law ended up with a mouse infestation by doing the exact same thing (except they left their doors open on purpose because they didn't have screen doors).

So since then, I've been worried that we have mice.

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and the dog was sniffing at something on the floor. Sniffing, but not licking or eating, which is her normal response to finding ANYTHING on the floor.

I looked.

Small.

Dark brown.

Pellet.

My heart started to pound as I put on gloves and grabbed some paper towel.

A refrain of Please-no-mice-Please-no-mice-Please-no-mice looped in my head.

I reached down. Picked up the pellet. Took a good look.

And a head and 6 legs popped out.

I have NEVER been so happy to find a bug in my house.

Moon Day.

2011-10-26T19:13:00.000-06:00

Today was a Moon Day. In the Ashtanga tradition, we don't do Mysore on Moon Days, we take rest.

And did I ever take rest. I rested like it was my JOB.

I lounged in bed until 8 AM. I didn't wash the windows like I planned. I only did a couple loads of dishes. I have been glued to the couch, watching TV and stuffing my face with chocolate (DAMN YOU, HALLOWEEN CANDY!!!!) for the last couple of hours.

It also gave me time to think about taking it easy in other aspects of my life.

For example- the dog.

She is on a diet and exercise plan, because she's overweight. Okay, fine.

But she's not as fanatical about fetching as she once was. And I want to do more with my day than constantly walk the dog.

So I hatched a plan- I would start running in the mornings (yes, AGAIN), and the dog would run with me.

Um...yeah.

She's almost 90 pounds, which is about 60% of what I weigh. She's also strong, and very low to the ground. So when I'm running and she decides to fling herself backwards to grab rabbit poops/pick up a stick/chase a squirrel, I lose my stride REALLY fast- and that's putting it mildly.

I had worked on making her heel, but I'm not the only person who walks her, and not everyone else is consistent.

Our "runs" were an epic struggle: me hauling on the leash trying to get her to keep pace, her lunging and sniffing and not understanding why she was being dragged.

I would return home frustrated, she would return home cowed and confused.

Today I looked at her, and I felt BAD. The walks were supposed to be for her benefit, but instead I was making them about me- my time, my schedule, my pace, my goals. She is endlessly loyal and loving and nonjudgmental, and she deserves better than that.

So, I'm taking it easy.

I'm giving up on my fantasy of me running along the river path, dog trotting gaily by my side. Instead, I will take her on her morning walk- sniffing and meandering and stick gnawing and all. And then, if I am so inclined, I will go for my run.

And I think we will both be happier.

Wakeup.

2011-10-25T21:29:00.000-06:00

This morning I slept in. Not on purpose- I heard the alarm go off, swatted it, and fell back asleep.

When I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, and registered what time it actually was, I did one of those bolt-out-of-bed, race-around-to-get-ready things. But *quietly*, so that I wouldn't wake Andrew up.

See, even though I slept in for AN HOUR, it was still only 5:15. But by that point, I'm usually on my way out the door to yoga.

So I raced around to get ready, flew into the car, was at the yoga studio by 5:45, and blasted through my practice from start to finish in under an hour (usually it takes me at least 90 minutes, if not more).

This was instructive for a couple of reasons.

First of all, I have to start going to be earlier- when the alarm goes off at 4:20, I can't be staying up until 10 and 11 at night, or I'm going to end up falling back asleep without realizing it.

Secondly, I am capable of going from bleary-eyed in bed to doing my first sun salutation at the yoga studio in 30 minutes (assuming of course that I'm doing the basic bobby-pins-in-hair, concealer-mascara-blush-toothbrush beauty routine one does when they're going to sweat their butt off first thing in the morning).

And finally- it shows just how important my practice has become to me. Instead of going "Ah, well, I'm an hour behind- what's the point, I'll just go again tomorrow", and rolling over and going back to sleep, I squeezed what I could out of the time I had. This attitude is diffusing into my everyday life as well- instead of thinking "I have to leave in 30 minutes/be home in 2 hours/go to the dog park/whatever, so why bother starting", I squeeze in what I can, because now I realize that anything- any forward progress at all- is better than nothing.

And all it took for me to realize this was at 4:20 AM wakeup call.

Mistakes.

2011-10-24T21:04:00.000-06:00

Today I made the mistake of buying Halloween candy. You think I would have learned by now- over the last 5 Halloweens Andrew and I have lived together we have eaten ALL the Halloween candy before the 31st, forcing me to do an emergency candy run at the last minute (aka, the 30th).

I also made the mistake of checking out the Halloween clearance section at Canadian Tire- I came away with a wreath for the front door and an inflatable witch for the front lawn. So much for getting back on budget in October...

And, finally, I made the mistake of wandering through the Christmas aisles. I did need to pick up two more strings of outdoor Christmas lights, but I didn't need to check out all the wreaths and ornaments and sparkly tabletop trees. I am truly trying to enjoy the waning days of fall, instead of constantly looking ahead to what's coming up next- there will be more than enough snowy days ahead, I don't need to start thinking about them now, mentally decorating our tree and decking our halls.

The Happy Homeowners

January in Review.

On Vignettes.

A Messy Cook.

Another Post Marked "Random".

Quiet Weekend.

More on the List.

On Sleep.

Nope, still boring.

I'm Boring.

Christmas= Gone.

More fun than Cleaning.

Yay, it's Friday!!

Meal Planning.

*Sigh*

Current State of the House

Where Does The Day Go?

Bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Thinking and Thinking.

Friday Miscellany.

Unraveling.

9:24 PM

This Is My House.

Cooking Tip.

Reboot.

The Internet.

Big Zero.

Yoga.

A Story About Sleep.

What Things Become.

Back To Reality.

January 1.

New Years Eve.

Christmas Vacation.

Equation.

Today I.

Christmas Vacation.

Boxing Day Miscellany.

Christmas Day.

Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve Eve

Christmas Time.

Christmas Chest Hair.

Doable.

Work.

Time's up.

Close to the Wire.

Yes!!

Better!

Regroup.

Tired.

The Outcome.

Tense Day.

Bug.

Lights.

Stymied.

Words.

Unposted Photos.

Unposted Photos.

Unposted Photos.

Unposted Photos.

Unposted Photos.

Overwhelmed.

Christmas Tree.

Still Deciding.

Decisions, Decisions.

Forgotten Again.

I am Ridiculous.

Apologies.

8:03.

Mess.

Short Post.

Behind Already.

Trying.

Lights and Tinsel.

Hibernate.

Accomplished.

Back to the Grind.

Yeasticide.

AAAAAAAAAAND.....

Sigh